Spicy Sweet Maple Mustard Pork Tenderloin

Let’s get one thing straight right away: When I say “maple syrup,” I mean exactly that. Not “pancake syrup,” “maple flavored syrup,” “syrup with X% maple,” or–God forbid–“sugar-free maple flavored syrup.” It’s against the law in Vermont and parts of Canada for trucks transporting that shit to even drive past a maple tree. True story.

Maple syrup. It is truly unique in flavor and in composition…scientists have discovered several compounds in maple syrup that don’t exist anywhere else in nature. Maple syrup is graded differently in different countries, but as a general rule those that are darker in color are stronger in flavor. As with honey, there are many variations in flavor among maple syrups, so experiment until you find your favorites. Personally, I like a darker syrup with a deep, earthy, almost smokey sweetness.

In addition to being delicious and versatile, maple syrup is a good source of zinc and an excellent source of manganese. As if deliciousness alone weren’t a good enough reason to stay away from that artificial junk.

1 pork tenderloin (approx 1lb)
3tbs maple syrup
3tbs mustard (Dijon or spicy)
pinch of cayenne
salt & pepper

1. In a large zip-top bag, mix syrup, mustard, and cayenne.
2. Trim fat from pork, season with salt and pepper, and place in bag. Squish out the air, zip, moosh it around to make sure the pork is coated, and marinate in the fridge for at least an hour.
3. Cook pork at 375° for about 25 minutes. Let it rest for 10 minutes before slicing and serving.

Note: Why yes, that pork tenderloin IS pink. Perfectly pink, juicy, and delicious. You don’t have to cook your pork until it’s the texture of shoe leather in order to make sure it’s safe. The USDA site says 145° is fine. I’m convinced that most people who say they don’t like pork only say that because they’ve only had it well-done and bone-dry.

What I Cook for Dinner When I Don’t Feel Like Cooking Dinner: An Embarrassingly, Stupidly Simple Chicken Breast Recipe

The boneless, skinless chicken breast exists within an uncomfortable paradox in American food culture. They are low in calories, high in protein, versatile, easy to prepare, and one of the most popular recipe searches on the internet. They are also virtually flavorless, easily ruined by overcooking, dismissed by many chefs in favor of tastier chicken parts, and often seen smothered in repulsive convenience foods in the quest for a quick and cheap meal.

I like to think of the boneless, skinless chicken breast as meat tofu: a blank canvas happy to take on the flavors of pretty much anything you might find in your kitchen. I marinate them in yogurt and broil, saute them in olive oil and serve with a pan sauce full of wine and herbs, make chicken salad with fresh fruit, and on and on…but on nights I don’t feel like cooking and just need to get something on the plate, I do this.

For each diner, you’ll need:

1 chicken breast (approx 1/2lb)
1/2tsp oil
2tsp honey
2tsp mustard (Dijon, whole grain, or spicy. That yellow stuff only belongs on hot dogs)
Salt

1. Heat a saute pan on medium.
2. Cut fat and other icky bits off of the chicken. Pound the chicken to even out the thickness (it doesn’t need to be super thin). I put it on a cutting board under plastic wrap and slam on it a few times with the heel of my hand. Please don’t use a glass cutting board or you’ll end up minus a finger with an embarrassing story to tell the nice people at the ER.
3. Season both sides of the chicken with salt and rub with the oil.

4. Cook the chicken about 5 minutes on each side. It’s done when it feels firm to the touch and the juices are clear. (Don’t cut it, just poke it with your finger. Trust me, it’s fine. Have a little faith.)
5. While the chicken cooks, stir together honey and mustard. When the chicken is done, remove the pan from the heat. Brush the honey mustard on the chicken, flip, brush the other side, flip again. The residual heat from the pan will cook the glaze a little bit without burning the honey.

6. Serve. I usually blanch some veggies in boiling salted water as a side, or throw it between two pieces of whole grain bread with some baby spinach. Yum.